I love you, Mom. Goodbye.
by Genjo Sanzo
Summary: What if Terry was killed as Batman? What would he have done for those left behind?


A/N: This is meant to be bittersweet. Please remember that if you really want to read it. I think that's my only warning other than the disclaimer: I don't own anything in this piece except the actual writing itself.

  


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I love you, Mom. Goodbye.

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There was a knock on the door. Mary McGinnis rushed to it, hoping it was her son. 'He wouldn't knock,' part of her said. She ignored that part, ready to both kill Terry and hug him so tight he couldn't ever leave again. Wrenching to door open, her face fell at the sight of Bruce Wayne. Worry replaced the previous hope.

"Mrs. McGinnis," he said, nodding to her.

"Mr. Wayne!" she exclaimed, allowing him to step inside. "Do you know where Terry is? I went to check on him last night, but he wasn't in his room. I thought he was working late, but I checked again when I got home from work today and his bed wasn't slept in, and I called the school and he hadn't been in class, and..."

"Mrs. McGinnis!" Bruce firmly interrupted. The distraught mother stopped her babbling. "Mrs. McGinnis, is Matt here?"

"Matt?" she replied, confused. "No, he's at a friend's. Why?" Bruce handed her a vid disc.

"He said to make sure you watched this alone. It will explain. Good day." The multi-millionaire walked out the door, shutting it firmly behind him. Mary looked at the thin plastic in her hands, fearful of what it might contain. With a sense of morbid fascination, she went to the computer and slipped it in. After booting up, Terry's face appeared on the screen.

"Hi mom," the computer Terry said, a small sad smile on his lips. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you, but there wasn't ever a right moment." He chuckled. "I don't suppose there ever would have been. But now I have to." The video screen image took a deep breath. "Do you remember back when _The Inside Peek_ was going to reveal Batman's identity? And how I told you before it started that it was me? I... I wasn't joking."

Mary's hands went to her mouth in surprise as the figure of her son stepped back from the camera a few paces. The costume he was in; it was unmistakably the same thing Batman wore. He extended his arm, and a batarang was in his hand. He fiddled with the dial on his belt and disappeared, reappearing a few seconds later. Terry's image stepped back up to the camera.

"Mom, I am Batman." He shook his head. "No. No, I'm forgetting I'm making this video just in case. If you're watching this then... I was Batman." Mrs. McGinnis let out a small gasp. The image of Terry continued talking. 

"I don't know if Mr. Wayne told you anything when he delivered the vid disc. I almost hope he didn't, Mom. If it's possible, I hope that you never find out how it happened. I don't want you to be hurt any more than you have to. In fact, I pray every day that you never have to watch this vid; that this contingency will never have to be used. You can't know how fervently I pray for it; how I pray that someday I'll be able to tell you myself. Someday when you could maybe accept this part of me.

"I really did mean to tell you. Find a quiet place to sit down. Let you know what I was really doing for Mr. Wayne. But I was scared, Mom. I was scared of how you'd react. You're my mother. I know you care about me more than any other person ever can. If you knew I was putting my life on the line every night, even if it was to save others, I was terrified you'd forbid me to continue. And then I would have had to make a choice. One I never wanted to make. I would have had to choose between my family and being Batman. I don't think I could have done it, Mom. I really don't think I could have."

"Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I should have led the life of a normal teenager, not risking myself every night. But it felt so right, Mom! I was finally doing something good, something worth doing. For the first time since juuvey I felt like I was worthwhile, like I meant something. I was helping people. I guess I... I must have tried to do too much." Terry's voice began to sound choked.

"I'm so sorry, Mom. I'm sorry you had to find out like this, when it was too late. I'm sorry for the pain I know I'm causing you, for the pain I caused as a kid, for everything I've ever done that's made you hurt. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I wish I could undo it all, somehow; that I could take all your pain away. I never meant to hurt you, Mom. Never..." The Terry image took a moment to compose himself.

"Mom, please don't blame Mr. Wayne. If you can, don't let him blame himself, either. I was the one who stole the suit in the first place. I had to fight with him to let me wear it, and he did more than his best to keep me safe once he consented. It's not his fault.

"Also, I don't want Matt to know about this until later. Not until he's ready. Say I died in an accident or something. Anything to keep him from asking questions until he can handle the answers. If you need any help, just ask Mr. Wayne. He'll... I'm sure he'll help with... arrangements... for me. Or with anything else. Just ask him." Terry took a deep breath.

"Mom, I love you. I need you to know that. Everything you've done for me, all the times you've been there and understood me. Even the times you didn't understand, but still showed you cared... My appreciation can't be measured in words. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you.

"I guess that's all I can say, though. I love you, Mom. Goodbye." The video screen shut off.

Fifteen minutes later, Matt opened the door.

"Mom! I'm home! ...Mom?" He walked into the living room. Mary McGinnis was curled on the couch, sniffing. Her eyes were red and swollen, and a few tears continued to escape as she stared at the wall.

"Mom? What's wrong?" She turned towards her younger son, trying to compose herself.

"Oh, Matt," she answered, putting every ounce of sympathy into her voice she could find. "I... I just found out... there was an accident. Terry's gone, honey." Matt's face visibly went from shock, to disbelief, to sorrow. He ran to his mother. She gathered him in a comforting hug, and his hot, fresh tears joined her new ones. As she comforted the boy, Mary though of the last words on the video, savoring both the sweetness of them and the terrible ache they brought. In her mind, she answered, hoping somehow her oldest son might hear them, wherever he was.

"I love you, too, Terry, and I'm so proud of you. Goodbye."

END


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